The Silent Holocron

I’d like to take this opportunity to thank the 2007 Tennessee Volunteers team. You played what was, without a doubt, your best game of the year. Never mind that your best game all season was actually the Georgia game. Never mind that you couldn’t stop LSU on 3rd down. Never mind that you couldn’t convert on your own 3rd downs. Never mind that Erik Ainge lost the game with those two absolutely stupid interceptions.

Never mind all that. You deserve the greatest of thanks. Left for dead after horrible drubbings by Florida and Alabama, you became The Boys of November once again. You reminded us what it meant when we yell about how great it is to be a Tennessee Vol. You reminded us that the rebuilding is only beginning. You reminded us that in a couple of years, we will be back where we belong, playing for SEC and national titles. You reminded us that the future is bright and colored orange.

Yes, you did all of that. You refused to listen to the spoiled among us and stayed loyal to one of the greatest coaches ever to lead the Orange and White. You refused to lay down and die even though you were infected by the virus that afflicted nearly every college defense this season. You refused to give up even though you could not play a 60-minute game, failing to pack away games in the second half on a frightening basis. You reminded us that the way you played in the first half of games is the goal for future Volunteer teams to strive for over an entire game. You reminded us what it felt like to expect to win. You reminded us what it felt like to play for a championship.

Of course you did all of that! And now that your season is complete, there is only a bowl game left to close the chapter on the 2007 season. We will not worry ourselves with winning or losing this game. We will enjoy the game, win or lose, and appreciate a team that took us to the lowest of lows and brought us back to the heights of victory. We will send you off with cheers and tell future generations that the Big Orange Resurgence began with you.

Yes, with you. You listened when Coach Fulmer and Coach Cutcliffe made you go back to work after a disastrous 2005. You listened when Coach Chavis made you stand up like men and play hard even when you couldn’t tackle a sheet on a clothesline. You listened when those of us who have a modicum of common sense urged you to play hard and fight for the Orange and White. You listened when we expressed our hope for you and our pride in you. You refused to lose right down to the final horn.

You did every bit of that. And if the example you gave the Big Orange Nation in the 2007 season is any indication, you have forever changed the attitude and expectation on Rocky Top after nearly a decade of languishing. Tonight, after nearly defeating a great LSU team, you proved to us that Tennessee Football matters once again.

And for that, 2007 Tennessee Volunteers, I thank you. You have righted the ship; it is now up to us who follow you to sail it correctly. May God bless you for your stellar effort, example, and attitude.

Go Big Orange!

This just in from my friend Ryan Hall’s e-mail inbox. It was too good to simply say “follow the link.” Here it is in its entirety. Enjoy it and have a great, great laugh!

The Gospel according to a Husker fan

And it came to pass in the land of Lincoln , in the kingdom of Husker Nation, that a man named Pederson arose to rule the realm of Athletics. He was of the Kingdom, from the city of North Platte , and was a follower of the Huskers of Corn.

But he was not a wise man, forsaking the ways of the Husker Nation, sending the leader Solich into the wilderness, and turning away the warriors of old who wore the tunics of black into battle in ages past, even removing their portraits and pictures.

And in the place of Solich, he selected from the land of La-La a strange man, once known as leading a failed army known as Raiders to defeat after defeat in the grand Coliseum of the Land of Oaks , a city by the bay of San Francisco , a wicked city of Sodomites and practitioners of perversion.

And did this man, known as Callahan, become the general of the Husker armies, forsaking all traditions held dear to the hearts of the citizens.

And a strange plan known as the West Coast Offense was forced upon the armies, and the proven tactics of old were called evil and sinful by Callahan. And complex and confusing were the plans in the Offense, and failure was the result.

And the Husker armies fell apart on the fields of battle, and adversaries from the Land of Troy , the hated Sooners, the powerful Orange Cowboys from the land of Still Water , yea even the despised Purple Cats from the wasteland of Kansas , did achieve victory after victory over the once-mighty Husker armies, and the wearers of the Tunics of Black.

And in the fourth year of the reign of Callahan, did the Husker armies struggle against warriors from a land where canning jars were made. And lo, the armies of Troy , the Tiger tribe from Columbia , yea, even the Orange Cowboys, did soundly defeat the Husker armies.

And it came to pass during the battle with the Orange Cowboys, in the presence of St. Thomas of Osborne and his brave soldiers of yore, that the members of Husker Nation did turn their backs upon the slaughter of the weakened armies of Callahan.

And a hue and cry arose throughout the land, in cyberspace, and on the program ESPN, for the removal of the failed general Callahan and his aides, and his master Pederson the Jerk.

And the Chancellor heard their cries, and dispatched Pederson into exile.

And St. Thomas was summoned by the Chancellor, and was given the power to rule in the department of Athletics.

And o, did Callahan wail and gnash his teeth, telling one and all of the fine works he had done. And his lies fell on deaf ears.

And there was great joy in Husker Nation as St. Thomas restored the traditions of old, welcoming with open arms the warriors of old known to the Nation.

But there was a reminder from St. Thomas that no remedies would be quick in coming, and that time shall pass before the great Husker armies are strong and feared once again throughout the land of the Alliance of 12.

Even so, once again hope is strong among the faithful of the Husker Nation, and some day in the future the Tunics of Black shall once again be worn by the fierce defenders of the field.

It’s official. Hell froze over this year.

A 2-loss team (at minimum) will play for the SEC title this year. And that 2-loss team will actually have more than 2 losses overall. With Georgia’s thumping of Florida and Tennessee’s squeaker over South Carolina, nothing is sacred this year. We could even see a 3-loss SEC team in the title game! Wonder of wonders.

THE BIG ORANGE
Thankfully, though, Tennessee is in charge of its destiny. All the Vols have to do is win out. But unless the defense starts showing up in the second half, that’s not gonna happen. Who is left? Let’s see…Arkansas. Vanderbilt. Kentucky. None of these teams inspire confidence that there will be an easy win. When Vanderbilt is no longer a gimme on the schedule, you know you are in the roughest, toughest, rootin’-tootin’-high-falutin’ football conference on God’s green earth.

Fortunately for the Vols, they have a cupcake in Louisiana-Lafayette next week to pound out a few serious dents in their game. This disturbing trend of looking like a world beater in the first half and then disappearing after halftime has got to stop. They need to play like they did against Georgia every game. Look at their losses. They were ahead or in the game at halftime, then just disintegrated after the half. Disgusting. Here’s hoping Fulmer and Co. finally pound it into the players’ thick skulls that football is a 60-minute game, not a 30-minute game. FINISH!

OVERRATED!
To the many who have hollered each time I have labelled Florida as overrated, I simply got three words for you. “Come get some.” It is past time for you to eat your crow. And I’ve got a nice, warm Humble Pie in the oven for you. Tim Tebow, obviously injured on his non-throwing shoulder, finally had to play like a real quarterback. And he failed miserably. He continues to be unimpressive as a passer and manager of the game. Makes me wonder what would have happened had Tennessee’s defense actually shown up in the second half. Face it, Gator fans. Your team has been nothing but lucky, and this year their luck has run out.

Also on the overrated side of things, Southern Cal lost again. Is it just me, or is the rest of the Pac-10 finally realizing there’s nothing to be scared of? I am relieved there will be no whining about USC getting shafted this year. They simply aren’t that good.

KUDOS
…To Boston College. You guys were the first team to actually hang on to your hats after being thrust into the title spotlight. You’re now my pick to play Ohio State, assuming OSU wins out.

…To Arizona State. You finally beat a somebody. Beat Oregon next week and we’ll talk about your Top-5 worthiness.

…Connecticut. I think you are cheaters and your coach is the worst sport in the world after your win over Louisville. But you played well in knocking off South Florida. Enjoy it while you can; West Virginia is coming.

…Georgia. You made glaringly clear what I’ve been saying all along: Florida is overrated. There, I said it again: overrated. What’s that? Yes, I really did say overrated. Get used to it. And last but not least…

…Louisville senior quarterback Brian Brohm. If humans were to be worshipped, I’d worship you for giving up millions to play one more season in your hometown, and having very reachable dreams dashed by a defense that isn’t worth a wooden nickel. You are a class act, and any team that passes you up in the draft is simply insane.

Special props go to my mother-in-law Barb because she actually gets all this football stuff. God blessed me with a mom-in-law who actually understands. Football Saturdays are fun when I can’t be with my family because of her. Thank you, Jesus.

And with that, I’m going to church. Shouldn’t you?

VS

Yes, it is that time of year again. It is Tennessee vs. Alabama week!

I very thankfully have today through next Friday off from both UPS and the church, so I will be taking a much needed vacation before the holidays start. It’s very appropriate that my vacation start on the weekend of the biggest, most storied rivalry in college football. UT offensive coordinator David Cutcliffe once told tomorrow’s starting quarterback, Erik Ainge, that if he won this game, people would write books about him. This rivalry is *that* important. I previously wrote about it in this post.

The famed “Third Saturday in October” is the marker of the change of seasons in Tennessee. It is only appropriate that this one be different from all others. This Saturday my family will be throwing a baby shower for us to welcome the new addition to our family that will arrive in January. Just as the leaves always change color when this game arrives, our family will mark the change in our lives tomorrow.

We will watch the game, and win or lose, we will have a good time with good food and good fellowship. Of course, we plan to give my brother-in-law Damien a very hard time all day, and I will reserve some very special razzing for my sister for having the poor taste to marry an Alabama fan. But that’s okay, we love her anyway.

I would also like to send a special message to my friend Timmy Brister. Timmy, I apologize in advance for the butt-kicking we’re about to give your Tide. But sorry, I won’t cut you in on the profits from the ivory we recover from Big Al’s tusks.

Is happening to us?

This college football season has been the absolute strangest on record. It might also be said to be the most exciting on record. Of the Preseason Top 10, none of them are currently unbeaten after Kentucky’s 43-37 upset of top-ranked LSU last night.

Defense seems to have been largely forgotten all over the land, and no example has been more glaring than Louisville’s inexplicable inability to stop opposing teams on defense. Louisville should be contending for that #1 ranking. Instead they are 4-3 after losses to Kentucky, Syracuse (who was a 47-point underdog), and Utah. UL could very easily have been 7-0 and taking over the top spot LSU will vacate when the rankings come out tonight or tomorrow.

No team has been safe. Southern Cal was beaten by an equally as huge underdog as Syracuse was. California lost after losing their starting quarterback and their backup made critical mistakes. Oklahoma and Texas have stumbled. Florida is proving that last year’s national championship was a fluke and that Tim Tebow is overrated. (Now, I say “fluke,” but we all know that SEC football is the best in the land. We all also know Florida could easily have lost 5 or 6 games last year. They were lucky.) The only “traditional” power left without a loss is Ohio State, who did not start the season in the Top 10.

How odd has this season been? We are talking about the possibility of Boston College and South Florida playing for the national title. One team known mainly for Doug Flutie and the other who has only played Division 1-A football for 7 years. Preposterous. Even more strangely, there is the very distinct possibility that a 2-loss team could win the SEC East and West and possibly the SEC Championship. That hasn’t happened on a regular basis around here. Used to be you could only afford to lose once. What would really put us in a mental institution is that Kentucky now has a legitimate shot to with the SEC. Break out the straitjackets!

The absolute worst oddity has been the inability of Notre Dame to play anything resembling football.  They can’t play offense.  They can’t play defense.  They are terrible.  I am just as bewildered as you are.  I expected them to struggle, with new personnel on both sides of the ball and their traditionally insanely-tough schedule, but this is ridiculous.  If not for that freak win a couple of weeks ago, they could have gone winless.  That, in and of itself, tells you something isn’t quite right about NCAA football 2007.  But I am resting very happily on the knowledge that Jimmy Clausen isn’t playing for Tennessee.  The Notre Dame fans are now learning what we learned from two Clausens — they simply aren’t worth the frustration.  I see Clausen quickly becoming forgotten on Charlie Weis’ bench.

A season like this is probably not going to happen again. Kentucky will not duplicate their efforts next year. Andre Woodson will be gone, as will the core of a team that endured incredible gridiron hardship to forge what is quickly becoming a stellar season. Defense will return, especially as teams adjust to this new spread offense fad sweeping the nation. Tennessee will start to play the type of football they became known for in the ’90s, now that David Cutcliffe has been able to recruit for a couple of years. Alabama may well start to become a power again under Nick Saban. Order will quickly be restored in 2008.

One thing that I expect to continue is the futility of Nebraska under Bill Callahan. My friend Ryan (who is usually if not always right about such things) recently wrote that Nebraska football is synonymous with mediocre. I agree. Firing Frank Solich was the worst thing Nebraska could possibly have done. They don’t play “Nebraska football” anymore, and until they get back to that, Nebraska will continue to be an also-ran.

In addition, Florida State and Miami will continue to stink.  That’s right, stink.  They are reaping the harvest of playing in lesser conferences for the past decade, and until they see the light and come to a conference like the SEC, their downgrade will continue until they are irrelevant.

That’s one of the truly sad stories about college football these days, the utter lack of respect for tradition, and the downgrade of tradition. No one gives coaches time to build a program anymore. No one respects the tried and true axioms of football, favoring gimmick offenses and fads. They will quickly learn their place. Even Steve Spurrier, returning to the college game, has learned to respect that tradition — he runs the football a lot more now, for one thing.

But this year, “tradition” has been soundly disrespected, and the new rankings tonight or tomorrow will show just how badly. As strange as this season has been, it has been a fun one to watch. As for me, I’m pulling for my Vols to come out on top of the chaos.

Or, Why Pro Athletes Are Crybabies

I have never liked Sergio Garcia.

Ever since I was introduced to him several years ago while watching pro golf’s Ryder Cup tournament (US vs. Europe, aka “US vs. Everyone Else”), I have disliked this kid. Arrogant, pampered, self-centered brat. A clear picture of what was wrong with Europe today. Nothing like the European golfers of yesteryear. Nick Faldo, Seve Ballesteros, Bernhard Langer, Ian Woosnam anyone? Compared to the golfers I grew up watching, Sergio Garcia is not a class act.

Well, that dislike turned into a good, clean sports “hate” after watching him throw away a 4-shot lead in the final round of the 2007 British Open. Don’t get me wrong. I was actually rooting for Sergio to win. Since Phil Mickelson won the Masters a couple years back, Sergio is the inheritor of that monkey-on-the-back label, “the best golfer to never win a major tournament.” I don’t like that label. I feel it is patently unfair. But after his comments in the interview room following his Sunday collapse, I hope he carries that label to his retirement.

You see, Sergio Garcia is nothing but a whining crybaby.

I shouldn’t be surprised. After all, pro athletes these days blame everyone but themselves when they perform poorly or get upstaged by a better opponent. But golf is supposed to be different. Golf is the “gentleman’s game.” One where honor and integrity is expected of its competitors. Especially in Scotland, the cradle of the sport and home of the most hallowed golf tournament in the world.

But no, Sergio Garcia decided to be a whining crybaby.

On the course that – the last time the British Open was held there – caused Sergio to cry in his mother’s arms, Sergio blamed everyone and everything but himself for his collapse. He even got a break when his closest opponent double-bogeyed the final hole to all but guarantee Sergio a win. But that wasn’t enough for poor Sergio. Break out the pacifier.

Sergio complained about having to wait 15 minutes to hit his second shot on the final hole. This from a guy who is notorious for taking forever just to hit his own shots. Sergio complained about his tee shot hitting the pin during the 4-hole playoff after his collapse. Most golfers would be delighted that they actually hit the pin. Needless to say, Sergio got par on that hole, so what is he complaining about? Sergio complained that he “rarely gets good breaks.” Excuse me? Let’s recap a smidgen:

Sergio started the day with a 3-shot lead, after outdistancing the field and seeing everyone around him wither with untimely bogeys. Then he himself played a worthless round of golf, and then got a huge break when Padraig Harrington double bogeyed the 18th to give Sergio the lead back. All he had to do was par the final hole and he was a British Open champion. But no, that wasn’t good enough for poor Sergio. He had to turn it into an opportunity to be a whining crybaby.

“I’m playing against a lot of guys out there, more than the field,” he said. “It’s tough, mainly because I don’t feel I did do anything wrong.”

Um, Sergio. Did you see the same final hole and playoff that the rest of us did? You choked. Big time.

“It seems to me like every time I get in this kind of position, I have no room for error. … And I rarely get many good breaks.”

Yeah, Sergio, play a song for me.

Instead of being the sore loser you and some of your European Tour pals tend to be, you could (and should) take lessons from Tiger Woods, the guy who’s beaten you almost every time you’ve matched up, especially in majors. Speaking of his own failure to deliver, Tiger very simply said this: “I wasn’t as sharp as I needed to be.” Whatever you may think about Tiger Woods, Tiger is a class act. It’s just too bad Sergio hasn’t learned from his example.

And until he does, Sergio Garcia is nothing but a whining crybaby.

Colts Win Super Bowl XLI 29-17

Move over, critics. Peyton Manning made all y’all shut up. And he beat a former Steve Spurrier protege in the process. Gloating would be ungentlemanly, so I’ll just let the pic below speak for itself.

Oh, it’s great to be a Tennessee Vol tonight.

Well, there you have it. The doubting has begun in earnest. With UL now the #3 team in the land, perfectly poised to play the winner of Ohio State-Michigan should they run the table, the detractors have reared their ugly mugs. To them I say, “Oh, give it a rest.”

Instead of going on a lengthy diatribe, I’m just gonna provide us with a nice, neat list, reminiscent of the lists at ESPN.com.

Most Overrated Conference: Big 12.
I mean, honestly! This used to be the group that could give the SEC a run for its money. You had some of the most powerful teams in the land west of the Mississippi here. Surely you have not forgotten the heyday of Nebraska, Kansas State, Oklahoma, Texas, Colorado, and Texas A&M? When the Big 8 and Southwestern Conferences joined, shockwaves were heard throughout the nation. The first ever “superconference.” Not only that, Iowa State and Oklahoma State had a couple of good teams during that time as well. But these days the Big 12 is quickly becoming a one-horse town, with Texas being the only team worth its salt in the past few years.

Runner-Up: Pac-10. The true one-trick pony of college football. But even their pony is overrated.

Most Underrated Conference: Big East.
Need I say more? This is a conference that was toughened by having Miami, Virginia Tech, and Boston College in its ranks, and a good Syracuse during the pre-, during, and post-Donovan McNabb era. With the departure of the big three to the Awful College Conference, the other schools have finally been allowed to shine. This league is an up-and-comer, and having powerful Louisville and West Virginia teams that are seemingly poised to dominate the next few years can only benefit. Rutgers going unbeaten thus far is a giant bonus, as is a resurgent Pittsburgh. All the Big East needs to do is for every team to schedule at least one game against BCS conference teams each year and win. Scheduling two wouldn’t hurt.

Runner-Up: Southeastern Conference. They don’t win this one cause they win the next one.

Most Disrespected Conference: Southeastern Conference.
Search your feelings. You know it to be true. This is the roughest, toughest, rootin’ tootin’ hi-falutin’ conference in all of college football. No team in any of the other conferences (with the possible exceptions of Texas and Oklahoma) could thrive in the SEC. The excellence of the SEC is unparallelled. Yet this excellence brings a double whammy. On any given weekend, any given team could lose to any other given team. The league is that good. You may have noticed that Vanderbilt isn’t even a “gimme” anymore. That ought to be your first indication of the true strength of SEC football. I am the first to agree that a one-loss SEC team is undoubtedly better than any other one-loss team in the land, and quite possibly better than some of the unbeatens out there. But I need look no further than an unbeaten Auburn getting snubbed for the national title game over the media darling USC a couple years ago to make my case.

Runner-Up: Big East. Yet this year their critics have been forced to eat crow, and instead of chewing and swallowing, the critics are trying to spit it back out.

Most Underachieving Conference: Big Ten.
What?!?!? Indeed. The Big 10 and the SEC are the two best football conferences in the land the past 10 years. But the Big 10 has underachieved. Ohio State has been the only consistent performer, stringing together a few 10 win seasons and a national championship, and potentially may tack on another. The rest of the conference, in contrast, has underperformed. Michigan has not been themselves since splitting that national title when Brian Griese was there, and it has been refreshing to see their resurgence. Penn State has been the biggest underachiever of them all. Michigan State has been, well, painful to watch. This is the second-best conference in the land, and they need to get their act together.

Runner-Up: ACC.

Most Deserving of Criticism Conference: Pac-10.
Once again, the Pac-10 is a one-trick pony: USC. This conference isn’t even a shadow of itself in its heyday. True, they beat up on each other in much the same way as the SEC, but the talent and intensity level is nowhere near the SEC or the Big 10. “But USC blew out Arkansas!” you complain. So what? It was a season opener. I wonder who would win now that Arkansas has run the table since then. The most glaring example of this award goes to California. Ranked 9th in the land at the start of the season, they were solidly trounced by Tennessee in a game that wasn’t even close. If an earthquake caused the west coast to fall into the sea, college football would miss the teams, of course, but would carry on without missing a beat.

Runner-Up: ACC.

And lastly, Most Pitiful Conference: ACC.
I don’t think I need to explain this one too much. When Wake Forest, either a perennial doormat or middle-to-bottom-of-the-pack team, is poised to win the conference, you know something don’t smell right. What is wrong with Miami and Florida State? Even Virginia Tech has been losing to lesser teams. Granted, it is nice to see some old-school programs like Georgia Tech and Clemson re-emerge from the doldrums, but having both the ‘Noles and the ‘Canes be in danger of missing out on bowls and potentially having losing seasons? Ridiculous. I used to say that the biggest reason for the decline of Florida State and Miami was the fact that they joined conferences with substandard competition. My theory has been soundly proven the past few years. After trouncing the competition for a few years, they quit playing like the great teams they were and started playing like 5th graders. LSU shellacking Miami in the bowls last year ought to be Exhibit A. This season is Exhibit B.

Runner-Up: Pac-10.

And so, ladies and gentlemen, I give you a list of why Louisville’s detractors oughta hush. With that, I’m going to work.

Well, by now you know. Last night, Louisville shellacked West Virginia 44-34 in a game that was much worse than the score indicated. Yes, West Virginia showed they are for real. Pat White and Steve Slayton are for real. They are scary good. But in what will be known for years as the famed “Blackout,” the Cardinals harassed them into an uncharacteristic 6 fumbles, three of which became turnovers, one of which was run back for a touchdown. It just proves a football axiom: you can’t give up turnovers, especially at crucial times, and expect to win games.

It was 30-14 before the third quarter was half over, all because of Slayton’s fumble and the punt return for a TD. The halftime score was 16-14 Louisville, but it could have and should have been worse, more like 28-14 or worse, because the Cards couldn’t find the end zone if you paid them, settling for three Art Carmody field goals inside the 5 yard line.

Brian Brohm was phenomenal. I still wish he’d gone to Tennessee, but oh well. He is reaping the benefits of his decision now, and God has blessed his decision.

In the third quarter, we actually did have a blackout!  The lights in the stadium started to wink out, leaving part of the place shrouded in darkness, but there was still plenty of light to play by.  It was unreal, and if you believe in those things, it was an omen.

My brother-in-law was there, broken foot and all, and I’m sure he greatly enjoyed himself.  I will soon go to pick his brain about the experience.

I participated in the “Blackout” from afar, as I wore all black to work last night. It felt good. It felt quasi-Goth (the style of which I find myself becoming more and more enamored with), but I certainly felt a lot like Johnny Cash. I wanted to paint my guitar black and do “Folsom Prison Blues” in the West Virginia locker room.

I am greatly enjoying my adopted team and university. They have given me seven years of pure enjoyment. My blood runneth Tennessee orange, but I can make a little room for Cardinal red. It’s easy, once you realize that we Tennessee folks hate Kentucky.

Anyhow, with no further ado, here are some photos from last night’s game, courtesy of the C-J.

#5 VS #3

Tonight. At Papa John’s Cardinal Stadium. 7:30 PM. 5th-ranked University of Louisville takes on 3rd-ranked West Virginia. Winner potentially plays the winner of the Ohio State-Michigan game for the national title. You know you wanna watch it.

 By the way, those rankings are the media and coaches’ rankings.  I rank them as you see in the right sidebar:  WV-3, UL-4.

I now go to make preparations to watch the game at my mother-in-law’s house.  Louisville Football:  It’s a family thing.

You know, they do catch on quick up here in the ‘Ville. I almost feel like I’m back home getting ready for a Tennessee game.